FÖK: Lesley Arfin

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Since 2001, Lesley Arfin has made a name for herself writing her own column “Dear Diary,” as the former Editor-in-Chief of Missbehave magazine and, perhaps most importantly, as an avid needle-pointer based out of New York City. 

FÖK posts by Lesley Arfin

  • FOK Talk: Lesley Arfin Discusses the Upcoming HBO Series "Girls"

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    Since Sex and the City stopped airing, it seems that HBO hasn't quite found their equivalent...until now. And while the group of girls in the new drama called, well, Girls are quite different than the label loving, perpetually brunching ladies of SATC, we're sensing a relatability that will win over a similar demographic. Plus, the Judd Apatow produced show is guaranteed to produce plenty of laughs, albeit with a different type of humor than shoe-obsessed Carrie Bradshaw or uber dry Miranda Hobbes. In anticipation of the show, we hooked up with an old FOK of ours, Lesley Arfin, who also happens to be the Story Editor for Girls, to get the inside scoop on the upcoming series. Read on to get Lesley's take on HBO's new foursome, and don't forget to tune in on April 15th at 10:30 PM.

    Kanon Vodka: We're super excited for the premiere of Girls--why will we love it?

    Lesley Arfin: I think most people--girls and guys--will be able to relate to it. It's a very honest, relatable show.

    KV: The show is based in NYC--your old stomping grounds. What are the top 3 places you miss most in Manhattan?

    LA: You're making me homesick! I miss little things like bumping into people on the street, picking a friend up in a cab, sitting at a restaurant for hours and hours. I miss Mogador, Shake Shack, and my favorite pizza place on Metroplitan Ave. Weirdly I also miss Topshop even though I never really get anything there. Walking into Topshop is always a very promising feeling.

    KV: Girls is about 20-somethings growing up and getting by in the city--how much of it is autobiographical?

    LA: I don't think any of it is. Of course, there are some stories and situations that are "autobiographical," but the characters we've written are very different than who I was at that age. They're less concerned with being cool. It is a show of fiction ultimately and while I can identify with what the characters do and say, I don't think any of it is autobiographical--at least not for me. Lena Dunham, the show's creator, probably has more parallels but again, her characters, especially the one she plays, is VERY different than who she is in real life.

    KV: Are there any characters on Girls that you identify with most?

    LA: I mostly identify with Hannah and Jessa. I think my own character would be split down the middle. I relate so much to Hannah's drive, entitlement, laziness, low self esteem, and self awareness but I also relate to Jessa's "try everything once" attitude. Hannah is introspective and I relate to that, while Jessa fights all forms of introspection... which I also relate to!

    KV: Now that you live in LA, how do you feel the two cities stack up against one another?

    LA: They don't in any way. The only similarities I find is that there are a lot of Jewish people in both cities. Otherwise they are different on every level. The businesses are different, style... there's no comparison.

    KV: What in your opinion are the best places to get great hangover meals in NYC and LA?

    LA: I guess if you have a hangover, don't leave your house? Maybe in NYC The Smile. I think they appreciate a good hangover. In LA, Cafe 101.  

    KV: On any given weekend in LA, where would we most likely find you hanging out?

    LA: UCB theatre, Kibbutz Room, a house party, home watching bad movies with my boyfriend, at the Arclight movie theatre...

    KV: You've done a lot of different writing (for magazines, personal, etc) -- how has your experience been working on Girls?

    LA: The best ever. The staff have become like family to me and I have never learned more about writing. I love the show and feel so grateful to be a part of it. Really a blessing. I can't say enough good things. It has truly been one of the best experiences of my life. 

  • FOK Guest Blogger: Lesley Arfin

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    As if Elizabeth Spiridakis’ post wasn’t enough of a Monday treat, now we get to see the night of the No.6 for 01 Magazine party through the eyes and lens of Café Con Lesley’s Lesley Arfin. From getting ready for the night to sipping delicious Kanon cocktails to introductions to pics of the totally cool crowd Lesley hangs with, these photos are worth way more than a thousand words. Here, Lesley’s take on the night:

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    This is me getting ready for the No.6/Kanon vodka party. I got this dress a few months ago but decided to debut it for this party. You can't really tell, but it's Fred Perry. I'm really into Fred Perry at the moment.

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    I showed up and it wasn't insanely crowed yet, which was good. Can you tell what I immediately spotted from afar?

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    DUH! You guessed right. An epic ultimate cow sweater, no big deal.

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    I attended the party with two of my be-fri's. Elizabeth aka White Lightning (whose blog post might look quite similar to mine), and Miss Judi Rosen. I tend to bite Elizabeth's blogging style often but I can't help it! It's my favorite. So at least enjoy the double stuffed blog Oreo while you can.

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    There was art happening, but who needs art when you have...

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    ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED WITH FLOWERS!

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    Another one of my best friends showed up, Bill Strobeck. Bill is the king of saying funny things and not realizing how funny they are, so it's always good to have him around. He once saw me drinking an O'Douls and he goes "Oh, you're drinking an O'Douls? That O'Rules." Classic Bill.

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    OH HAI jealousy shoe.

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    OH HAI YOURSELF, MY AWESOME HAIR AND TUDE (a conversation I'm having in my head about those shoes and his hair. It doesn't make sense, but whatever let's get arty).

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    Cutie couple alert: Todd Jordan and Katherine

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    Here's a story: When I was 14/15 years old I used to take the train into the city from Long Island and go shopping in the East Village. My favorite store was called 3 Jills And A Jack, and it was run by Wendy Mullin and Judi Rosen. (I would drool over the silver baby backpacks. It was the 90s don't forget). Anyway, cut to now and Wendy (she owns Built By Wendy) just had a beautiful baby and Judi is one of my nearest and dearest and only outfits every girl in NYC with her killer jeans. It's crazy how I've known these girls for so many years. They are true and total NYC legends to me and I still think they are the coolest ladies ever.

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    Look how cool this picture is of me not standing in a very, very crowed room.

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    Pretty girl Pia working the door. She works for People's Revolution and she also took me to the Jets game last week. It was pouring rain but still totally ruled balls. 

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    Leo Fitz causing trouble (not at all).

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    Two heartthrobs, Jason Dill and Bill Strobeck. Once I went to Miami with these two dudes for 10 days. It was Christmas. We all stayed in the same room and I bought them CDs. One of the funniest times of all time.

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    Dill was one of the artists who participated in the show. Everything you need to know about him can be found in this bio.

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    The night ended with Kanon vodka infused banana cream pie. Just kidding it ended with No.6 designer banana cream pie. Just kidding it ended with me eating alone because I felt sad. Just kidding it ended...

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    ...WITH A COMB MOUSTACHE!!! Me, Elizabeth, and Judi had to hit it because the party was getting way too crowded and we are fragile little girls. But it was super fun and we saw a lot of friends. Until next time, awesome Kanon party. PS How cool is the comb moustache? Elizabeth invented it. 

  • Lesley Arfin vs Coachella, Day Three

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    Photo by LastNightsParty

    Lesley Arfin finally made it to Coachella (read Day One and Two), but was it like her adolescent nightmare or did it end up being a glorious festival reawakening?

    Is It A Crisis Or A Boring Change? by Lesley Arfin

    DAY THREE

    Okay, so now let's talk about Day 3, the day where I actually get to experience the monstrosity that is Coachella and...dare I say actually really like it? I'm gonna preface by talking about the Insane Clown Posse video everyone is all worked up about. You know the one, "Miracles," they made fun of it on SNL. And rightly so, it's corny and funny and really easy to make fun of rappers who dress up like clowns and talk about nature (I never thought I'd write a sentence like that). But it's easy to make fun of something like that. A lot of times I get caught up in judgement and irony not because the subject truly angers me, but because it kind of touches me. It makes me feel vulnerable in a way that I don't want other people to know about because it's not fucking cool to look vulnerable. That's kind of how I've felt about music in general for a long time. It was something very private for me, something I never wanted to talk about or even see live and maybe would even pretend that I hate, not because it didn't effect me but because it effected me SO MUCH. If I cry when I listen to The Cranberries sing "Linger," I certainly don't want you or anyone else to know about it. And the fact that that's actually a "thing," that music can trigger something so ancient or meaningful to me is, as the Insane Clown Posse would say, PURE MOTHERFUCKING MAGIC. I had forgotten about this magical force of nature until I got to Coachella. So every shirtless raver with glow sticks and acid eyes and flame throwers, I feel you guys. They weren't caught up in backstage passes. They didn't care what you were wearing or how many famous people you got to fan out on. You just wanted to hear music for the sake of music. I can dig it.


    To be honest this thought occurred to me as I was watching The Soft Pack. They played at 12:55pm in one of the side tents and even though it was early and a lot of people were so hungover from the night before that they couldn't make it, a lot of people did. And they killed it and started a clap-chant during the song "Mexico" and the dudes in the band were smiling and I was like, "Yeah you should feel good. That's that PMFM right there." Girls in awkward outfits were shouting out songs and I was like "Wow, that used to be me." The day had already started out lucky because there was no traffic and we all slid in quickly and didn't have to deal with Nazi ticketing bullshit. After The Soft Pack I ate a hamburger and sat on the grass with Hilary and we asked each other what we wanted to happen for us in the future. I drank an iced coffee and whowhatwear.com asked me about my outfit (a dress from no.6) and we smoked cigs and sat in the shade. This was the calm before the storm.

    People started coming. Lots of people. People I knew, people I hadn't seen in years, people who were playing, famous people, dorky people, everyone. They all came. Our mini crew of boys reassembled and we walked around not knowing where to put ourselves but still taking it all in. It was fucking hot. I got free cigarettes from a tent and Melanie Griffith was sitting on the grass near us. I heard De La Soul play which sounded kinda weird and got my balls busted for wanting to see Matt and Kim. Then this boy that I liked held my hand and that introduced a whole new set of PMFM feelings. He took me backstage and we sat around for a while and my inner 14 year old was high fiving the 31 year old that was sitting there trying to be cool. I did feel cool. I felt really cool.

    He grabbed my hand and we began our swim through the sea of people trying to go see Sly Stone. He kept obsessing about whether or not Sly Stone was gonna show up and I was all "Of course he will, what's the problem?" But I guess Sly Stone never shows up anywhere or else walks off stage and lives in a van down by the river or whatever. So yeah, it was 7pm and he didn't show up. The boy grabbed my hand again and we kept on moving, trying to find a way in, any way in, to see Pheonix. The sun was starting to set and people on drugs started peaking. Pheonix sounded good but we were what seemed like miles away from the stage, which was fine with me, because I was totally engulfed in this massive swarm of people moving around me in every direction. I felt like a little kid looking up at a bunch of people who are way taller than me. I felt like a ladybug who had accidentally stepped into a beehive. I could have stood there just watching and feeling the crowd for hours. Ah, maybe not, but I really liked the feeling, maybe because it was so fleeting.

    Eventually we found a bench and watched Pavement, which was the highlight of the night even though the set was kind long. Have you ever sat on a bench for an hour straight? It was starting to hurt my butt. But yeah they fucking ruled, it was the perfect soundtrack to accompany my emotions. It was night and the Coachella beams of light shot around the sky like spaceships. It felt like I was somewhere else, on another day, in a parallel universe where really good things always happen in a row. I sat there and tried to be there in the moment without thinking thoughts as much as I could. I think I did a good job.

    Getting home was another story. We kind of didn't have a ride. At night it gets windy and the dust picks up, so we walked a long time through a big parking lot and got dirt in our eyes and teeth and I peed behind a car and maybe peed on myself a little. Whatever. After some hustling and wandering and waiting we got a ride and headed back to Palm Springs. I was beat to shit and hungry and dirty but also really, really happy. 

    The next day I got a ride back to LA with The Soft Pack who scooped me up. I felt all "I'm With The Band" about it and told a dumb story and felt stupid but overall it ruled and those guys are funny. I didn't want to drink water because then I'd have to pee and I didn't want to be the girl in the van who always has to pee. 

    In LA I saw some friends and ate some meals and did some other things that I'm putting in a memory time capsule and burying in my mental backyard so I can dig it up later when I need to. I feel asleep early. I got a ride to the airport the next day and got into a minor car accident on the Freeway, so that happened too. And that's it.

    Kanon sent me out there to witness a catastrophe and write about it. I witnessed only things that make me wanna go back to Coachella every month. But only with the same people and the same songs. Only if it's an exact replica of exactly what happened, which of course it won't be. Maybe next year I'll be able to stomach it again though. Somehow I doubt it.

    Read more by Lesley at Cafe Con Lesley.

    See Also: Lesley Arfin vs Coachella - DAY ONE and  DAY TWO.

  • Lesley Arfin vs Coachella, Day Two

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    After 7 hours of travel and 1000 cigarettes later Lesley finally made it to Palm Springs to confront her festival fears and told us about her DAY ONE sojourn.  Keep reading for DAY TWO of her Coachella pilgrimage....

    Ain't No Party Like A Kanon Vodka Party by Lesley Arfin

    DAY TWO

    I slept well in a total 70s vibed out room at this hotel called "Hotel California" in Palm Springs. That place is totally amazing and the room was so sexed up it almost gave me AIDS. I woke early and with no car, I kinda had to fuck around and figure out how I was gonna get to the Kanon house. I walked across the street to the Ace where lots of people wearing American Apparel were drinking booze and ordering food but not eating it. I found a hammock and got sprayed by some fine mist and just sort of eyeballed all the good looking people. Eventually my aces in the hole, Hilary, Harry Beee and Nicole scooped me up and all fists were in pumped formation. LET'S DO THIS.

    Like I said, the Kanon house was awesome. It was even more awesome when everyone there was laying around and talking and getting excited and drunker as each minute passed. I felt really pale and not-as-thin-as-I-thought as I disrobed but whatever. I mainlined watermelon juice right away and constantly covered myself with 85 sunblock (I'm really paranoid about getting sunburned). Everyone was talking about how good the drinks were, real talk. Like I totally wouldn't just say that. It was all heads were talking about. Vodka infused coconut water or whatever. And no one ever likes the "taste" of booze so I think it's worth a shout out to the mixologist Stefanie Marco. Pretty soon after I arrived Lindsay Lohan and her crew layed their towels next to mine and gave me cool Japanese stickers for my note-taking notebook. Then Aviva Yael showed up with like 8 coconuts in her bag (those fuckers are heavy!) and she proceeded to break them open early-man style and I got to drink the sweet coconut nectar with a straw. YUM. Between the sun and the conversations, my jaw was starting to ache and my eyelids were yawning, but I still managed to have a great bro-down with Mickey from Maroon 5, Bronques, the only man I ever want to take my picture, Pia Arrobio (a vision in a white, floor length silk gown, so killing it for day time shenanigans), The Facehunter dude (he said I was "unattractive." Discuss), Andreas (Kamado records), Lil Alex Olsen (skates for Girl, among others), Madeline and Chrissie of Sophomore fame (duh), and probably a million other people I'm forgetting. I had to have a few time-outs in Chrissie and Leo's room just to get recharged but dude, it was the FUNNEST day. And it wasn't even close to being over.

    By 7ish I was pretty beat, so I hitched a ride back to the hotel with Hilary and we went into the hot tub. It was really, really hot. We switched back over to the pool and soon a bunch of other dudes who were also staying at the hotel came to hang, including Dave and Matty from The Soft Pack. The Soft Pack were set to play at the festival the next day and I was really excited to see them because I've been listening to the album nonstop. Plus, they all look like male models and sound like The Replacements meets your new favorite punk band that might play in your living room in 1989.  They sound like they should be in a John Hughes movie. They sound like the soundtrack to being crushed the fuck out. Get it? Cool.

    So we all went swimming. And then we sat at a table and smoked cigs and drank drinks and made jokes for hours. Matty's brother Trevor and his friend Sam were there and they play in a band called the Sundelle's. They had me and Hilary laughing for hours. We felt like girls. It was good.

    Then we went to get food and I killed it with some jokes cuz everyone else was really tired. The Soft Pack boys had gone home but me and Hilz were just getting started. We hung out at the Ace Hotel bar where Andrew Andrew  was djing (notorious gay NYC dj's who wear matching outfits and play Naughty By Nature) and some heads from the Kanon house made their way over and it was one, big, massive orgy of private jokes, new friends, making fun of people, and new romance. Chrissie was wearing a fucking dope Neil Young shirt that Leo had gotten her for their anniversary. Eventually they decided to go to the Jeremy Scott party but Hilary and I opted for our new found best friends and we all went back to the hotel and got in the hot tub where the giggles ranneth over. I didn't get in though. I just smoked a cigarette in my jammies until I passed the fuck out. 
    Kind of a perfect day.

    Read more by Lesley at Cafe Con Lesley

    See also: Lesley Arfin vs Coachella - DAY ONE and DAY THREE.

  • Lesley Arfin vs Coachella

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    Lesley at Coachella. Photo by Laura Taylor

    After reading how much our FOK friend Lesley Arfin hates outdoor festivals we challenged her to face her fear and go to the biggest Coachella ever.  We even looked right into her eye-holes super hard and sang lyrics so read on to see what happened...

    Palm Springs We Go Hard by Lesley Arfin

    In 1994 I went to Lollapalooza. I was 14. I saw The Breeders, the Beastie Boys, Greenday, and probably like Blonde Redhead or Girls Against Boys on the side stage and pretended I liked them. I wore a thrift store dress and got a ride from some 11th grader named Larry. It was on Randall's Island which at the time I had no idea what that was and let's face it, I still kind of don't. The day ended with me wandering around by myself trying to find a ride back home, eventually taking the LIRR with some chick that I really looked up to. I feel asleep with my head in her lap, froze to death on the air conditioned train, and promised myself I would never go to another outdoor music festival again as long as I lived.

    Cut to right now. Coachella is over and I just got back to LA after have been in the Palm Springs/Palm Desert/ Indio rock hurricane area known as Coachella. The genius behind me going on this trip is that about a week ago I wrote a whole blog entry about my top 10 least favorite things and #1 on the list was, you guessed it, outdoor music festivals. Everything in my life was going well until my good friends at Kanon Vodka decided they wanted to send me into the hole and watch me claw my way out. The next thing you know I'm making a million phone calls, booking last minute tickets, and emptying the entire contents of my wardrobe on my bed because what the fuck should i bring to Coachella? What should I wear? What shouldn't I wear? I have to go see bands play? Like I have to STAND and watch bands play (something I don't wanna do), I have to figure out where I'm gonna stay, how I'm gonna get a ride, and how self conscious I'm gonna feel in a bathing suit at the Kanon Vodka party. Oh and there's also the little situation known as getting PASSES.Okay, great. Awesome. Let's do this.

    DAY ONE

    The first day of Coachella had little/nothing to do with Coachella at all. It was kind of a semi-nightmare. I flew into LAX at 1230pm. Got picked up at the airport at around 145pm. Got into the Palm Springs area at...ready...wait for it...745pm. That's right. 7 hours. 7 hours of smoking cigarettes. 7 hours of sitting in traffic. 7 hours of trying to figure out not only directions, but alternate routes, on an iphone that I don't know how to use because I have a blackberry and my thumbs dont know how to work on an iphone. After searching for a Starbucks, only finding a Jamba Juice, 2 bags of chips, 1 banana, and a 1000 cigarettes later we finally made it. We met up with some boys and took them over to the Kanon house which had fresh watermelon juice and a fire pit made out of crystals that someone had definitely purchased from an in-flight magazine. Some heads went to see Jay Z but I had given a friend my VIP pass so she could go cuz she wanted it more. So I missed Jay Z which was a bummer but I was so assed out that the thought of getting back in the car immediately made my muscles lock up. But I heard it was awesome and Beyonce came out with him (shocker) and so yeah, that happened, or didn't happen, for me, and I was totally fine with it. I spent the night fucking around at the Kanon house, talking about music, which is all anyone talks about when they go to Coachella. I guess that would normally be the conversation I would deem as wack, but in this case it was actually really funny and innocent and it's been a long time since I got to tell someone that i liked Pink Floyd (which apparently isn't cool to like anymore. I didn't get the memo!) Eventually I went back to the hotel I was staying at with a bunch of people and pretended like I wasn't tired but I was fucking beat as shit, so the night was a wrap for me around 2am. Everyone was still being loud and drunk and funny and I totally had the hots for some kid, but my brain just could not connect to my mouth responsibly.

    Read more by Lesley at Cafe Con Lesley

    UPDATE: Read about Lesley Arfin vs Coachella - DAY TWO and DAY THREE.

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